When do i take down my online dating profile

Is it unreasonable to be bothered by him still looking? I would really appreciate your thoughts! I know it has only been 3 weeks and I understand it is way too early to have the exclusivity talk It doesn't sound like it's too early for you to have the exclusivity talk. This is bothering you, and you should talk to him about it.

Frankly, him saying he doesn't have to answer questions if he doesn't want to - questions that may, for example, impact whether or not you want to become more intimate with him - that's a red flag to me. Obviously, you should approach this kindly and with respect, but it needs to be discussed. I kind of wouldn't expect someone to remove his profile until after we had the "exclusivity talk," but it doesn't really matter what I would expect or desire - it matters how you feel about it. How can you tell, unless you're on yourself?

My rule of thumb, as someone who's used online dating sites extensively and is currently in a relationship with someone I met on okcupid, is that until and unless we're officially exclusive, I stay "single," in at least the most basic formal sense. Though honestly, my real advice here is more like stop looking at his damn dating site activity. Judge your relationship by its actual contents, by your closeness and enjoyment of one another, rather than trying to read the tea leaves and giving yourself endless material for paranoid stress that will only damage your enjoyment of the time you spend with him that might lead to actual relationship problems.

OkCupid has a feature that lets you fake-delete your profile. It looks like you've deleted it, and it basically is deleted, but with one click the whole profile can be restored. I like this guy and want to see where things go If you both 'want to see where things are going' and you haven't talked about being exclusive, you should probably talk to him first before expecting him to remove his profile. You should only be concerned if you are in a committed, exclusive relationship, and he still had a dating profile. At this point, you say you are none of those things as a couple yet.


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It shouldn't become a discussion unless you two mutually decide to be exclusive and no longer seek out new dating partners. If you didn't decide to remove your dating profile for other reasons, wouldn't you still have yours up? Would you be this bothered if his Facebook status said "Single"? I don't necessarily think 3 weeks is too soon to think about being exclusive, but each relationship is different. At this point, it doesn't sound like you have headed in that direction just yet. If you feel you could have that talk, then do so, but don't mention the dating profile until it's clear what your intentions are.

If you are sleeping together, you absolutely have a right to know if he is seeing other people, and for him to suggest that he wasn't actually obligated to answer you when you inquired about it is a big red flag. I think weeks of multiple successful dates is a good time to check in and say, "Hey, you're great, this is awesome.


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Think it's time to close up our profiles so we can see where this goes? Sure, he doesn't have to, but IMO if he wants to keep dating you, it would be wise for him to do so. If an exclusive relationship is what you're looking for and you'd like to go in that direction with this guy, I don't think it's too early to talk about it.

He may not be looking for that, in general or with you, and if that would be a dealbreaker for you it's certainly reasonable to address it now.

When to Remove Your Online Dating Profile

I personally prefer monogamous relationships and if I feel like I'm getting emotionally invested I may say something like, "So, will you be my boyfriend? If he is lukewarm, then you can make a call about whether or not you want to date him casually or move on. A lot of women insist on exclusivity when they sleep with a man, so I think you would be entirely reasonable to tell him that given your level of intimacy, you are not comfortable with him dating other people.

Am I the only one reading this as the OP telling the dude that he doesn't have to answer if he doesn't want to? That she asked the question and immediately said, "but you don't have to answer? You're second guessing yourself!

It is OK to ask for what you want! It is OK to expect people to be honest with you! Don't make excuses for people. Let them prove to you that they're worth your time. Don't give people reasons to walk all over you. And then let him answer without answering for him. Oh WOW I totally misread that too. I redact the first paragraph of my initial response. I can't speak for the exclusivity thing, but it's worth talking about. But I can comment on the dating profile thing: The timing of taking down a profile sends all kinds of messages.

As does Facebook friending and relationshipping.

He probably doesn't want to scare you away by jumping the gun too early. There's no standard answer to this, like "2 months" or "9 days. Some couples take months to get to that point, some take days. The question I think you really want answered is "is he seriously interested in me, and does he want to be exclusive with me? Only he can let you know whether he's seriously interested and wants exclusivity.

If you are in the market for an exclusive relationship, you might want to have this conversation first with people, before you get to this point where you've shared a lot of intimacy but you have that odd thing where you've been physically intimate but are totally afraid to ask them how they feel about the relationship and its future. That can really be backwards. It sounds as though he likes you, but it's not clear that he's serious - we can't answer that, only he can. In future, have this conversation before you're afraid to. Have you two talked at all about what your respective long-term goals are, relationship-wise?

Do you know for a fact that he is monogamy-minded, and ultimately looking for exclusivity? If you've not had that basic conversation, now would be a good time to do so. It seems kind of weird at this point to expect him to take his profile down. You've been seeing him three weeks. I also started getting antsy about this very question after three weeks of amazing dates with my now-SO. Things were just so Or so it seemed to me -- but was it mutual? I waited another couple of weeks to speak to him about it -- I wanted to sift through my own anxiety and let it settle. Ultimately, the conversation came up pretty organically -- I was not comfortable with sex outside an exclusive relationship, so when it came time to discuss such matters, I also discussed the fact that I'd pulled down my profile.

when is it reasonable to take down the online dating profile? | Ask MetaFilter

He said he hadn't seen anyone else since our first date so, my anxiety was for naught! So, if you need a plausible reason to recite to yourself for why this gentleman is still active on OKC, there's one for you to mull. Same goes for books, movies, and shows. Give us your top five choices in each category. This is also where you list your hobbies or interests, stuff you do for fun.

Painting, ultimate Frisbee, taxidermy. DO NOT write blood, food, air, water. This is not a literal question. The point is to show your personality. Are you addicted to your smart phone and coffee? Never leave the house without your journal or a switchblade? Your desert island list. A sexy combination of all three? Maybe you spend a lot of time marveling at how the lead singer of The Foo Fighters looks just like the drummer from Nirvana.

The big mysteries of life you ponder go here.

The guy I'm seeing is still using dating sites. What should I do?

If you do all kinds of different things on the weekends, give us a summary of your most favorite activities. Movies, clubbing, trying every sushi joint in town? Netflix, friends, and wine coolers? Holding up liquor stores, summoning the devil, and tagging buildings with your spray paint stencil art as your alter ego, The Shadow?

Sum it up here. We read something we like, we message you. Quote a movie, leave a recipe for bundt cake, leave your hat size. And that name thing? Have fun, get a sense of humor, and chill out.